ROBCO INDUSTRIES UNIFIED OPERATING SYSTEM

My Lonliness And Love Life

My loneliness stems from my love life which stems from my mommy issues. My mommy issues stem from my mom not being supportive and always being strict on me on some things or being too pushy on other things. My love life is one of the worst stories I hate telling people, it feels like I take a chunk out of my body and give it to them. Sofia is a mentally ill immature girl that I put up with her crazy BS and kinda ruined my perception of love. The experience from being with her did teach me that I need to find a girl more normal and that shares similar interests to mine, but also respects me and my time as well. You know going into college that’ll be the best place to do it right? Well not really. In high school, cold approaching someone wasn’t a bad idea because the chance of seeing each other in a class or in the hallway or at lunch is very probable. The kinda smaller environment makes it easier to go talk to a girl and befriend them. In college it is kinda harder because everyone is just trying to do their own thing and cold approaching them is the same as disturbing their peace. So right off the bat I can’t cold approach the girls I want to talk to. Also if I want to talk to a girl it's either because I find them interesting either platonically or romantically. I’m going to try to start having platonic friendships with girls I deem interesting because if I befriend them in hopes of a relationship, the friendship is very lackluster and fake. My top 2 types of girls are Indian Baddies and Alt Baddies to some extent. The Alt Baddies must not be too mentally ill or else I’m dealing with another Sofia and they also must not be so attention seeking in the form of their clothes they wear. And a lot of people don’t understand me for liking alternative girls. I like them because I feel like I can vibe with them with the stuff that I like. I feel like that's a good trait to find in someone and I just happen to find them in these alternative girls. For right now I’m not looking to have sex with anyone (but it would be nice), but I do wish I can have these female companions because it gives me a different perspective and support than what my bros would.
This leads me to my next point: my love life. It hasn’t been the best, like I said I’ve befriended these girls I’d had a romantic interest in, but they never liked me back. And that’s always been my biggest trouble. Talking to my good friend Rohan, he’s bestowed this idea of being black pilled, meaning that nothing will happen to us guys if we aren’t the idealised perfect 10/10. And to some extent he is right, we do live in a looks based society. I feel like a girl will only like a guy if she deems him super attractive, not based on personality. And then there are cases like SniperWolf and these popular attractive influencers who have the most 4-5/10 looking guys as their partners.
And I’m not desperate. If I was desperate then I would be dating the girls that I didn’t like that I went on a date with. I guess the only extent of my ‘desperation’ is going on apps like wizz which wasn’t a bad thing. I met a lot of unique people but nothing worthwhile. I’m just looking for someone to give me any kind of support I wish my mom gave me, and on top of that the intimacy between and this person would be special, not some hook up culture BS. I’m all for romance but I feel like it's kinda dead. I mean social media and society kinda ruined basic romance. Society and social media dictates how you should treat a woman so that they like you back and that usually just means giving them material goods. Society tells me I can’t walk up to a girl and say I like her because that is “sexual harrassment.” Even though I disagree with this, I’ll still put myself through the friends to lovers stuff so I don’t get labelled as a creep. And I get a lot of people put girls on a pedestal because, well they are a trophy to get in the eyes of a loser, they aren’t even all that. The reality is that they don’t hold any accountability for anything they do or that they’re responsible for. My mom and Sofia are the biggest example of this. I know this some incel speak but there is some truth to it.
I met Aero on discord and they are biologically a girl but identifies as non binary. We hit it off the first time we hung out and ever since then we’ve been texting and hanging out. My friends kinda make fun of me for liking them because they are non binary and I don’t even know if they like me. Obviously I should continue to be their friend in case anything happens but the vibe I’m getting from them is that they like things to be platonic.